A Mother’s Day Reflection

My twins and me, shortly after their birth.

10 years ago I celebrated my first Mother’s Day. I had two-week old twins, I was recovering from a C-section, exclusively breastfeeding, exhausted, and incredibly happy. I was holding the babies that I had longed for for years. A boy and a girl. The joy was overflowing. 

And I was incredibly sad. 

My own mom had died suddenly less than two years before that moment. The happiness I felt for my own first Mother’s Day was overshadowed by the loss I was feeling by not getting to celebrate the day with her. That’s how life is sometimes: happiness and sadness existing in the same moment. Both feelings valid and very real. 

A year later, I was still breastfeeding, up to my ears in diapers, laundry, dishes, crying one-year olds, giggles, and seeing the world through innocent eyes. I was still exhausted, and the thing I longed for the most was some quiet time to myself. So that year, I took a long walk by myself. I put in my earbuds and explored the wetland near my house. It was just the thing I needed, and it felt like the best gift my husband could give me. 

As my children have gotten older, Mother’s Day has evolved. There have been the gifts made at school, homemade cards, and breakfast in bed. Each one so delightfully perfect for their age. I’ve often gotten to take naps in the middle of the day, which I really needed the two years I was in grad school and the twins were four and five. 

The weekend after Mother's Day this year, we went hiking at Mount Saint Helens.

This year I realized that I no longer feel like time to myself is such a necessary piece of Mother's Day. At 10 years old, my kids are fun to hang out with and they don’t need me as much. I had a perfectly lovely day this year just vegging out and bingeing the new Punky Brewster. What felt like the best gift of all was that the kids liked it too! It was very fun to share something with them that was from my childhood.  

My babies aren’t babies anymore. Those hard, exhausting days and sleepless nights are behind me, and I know that the difficult teen years are still ahead. But this year was simple and peaceful. My kids and I enjoy each other’s company, and I hope that I remember this for many years to come. 

If you are struggling with creating peace in your home with your kids, coaching may be right for you. Let’s chat.